Rest in Peace, Johnny and Mathew Gaudreau- Part One

I've learned something over the roughly two and a half weeks since we lost Johnny Gaudreau and his brother, Mathew; I will never be ready to write this blog. I've been avoiding this because my words seem hollow and empty to me; like anything I could say would be redundant and not enough. August 29th, 2024 will forever be burned into my brain alongside July 4th, 2021, the date we lost goaltender, Matiss Kivlenieks, in a firework accident when he used himself to shield others. To say this franchise and its fans have suffered too many tragedies since I started covering the team in May 2020 is an understatement. When we lost 'Kivi' I never imagined doing this again, but I am, and I won't lie to you because I never have; I hate that I have to do this again. My heart is shattered, especially for the Gaudreau family, and I don't think I'll ever find all the pieces. The hockey community will forever be changed by this tragedy. None of us want to accept that this nightmare is reality, but we must. That said, we can grieve but also look back on the good times with Johnny, and that's the pattern the following blog will follow.  

I never had the pleasure of meeting Johnny Gaudreau or his family, but I did listen to his many interviews and luckily got to watch him play in Nationwide Arean many times. Despite all of this, I still want more. I want to be in my seat on opening night and watch Sean Monahan and Johnny Gaudreau play together again but for Columbus. I want to watch him continue to lead the Blue Jackets Locker Room with Boone Jenner, Zach Werenski, and Sean Kuraly.  I want to watch him live, laugh, and love with Maradeth and their growing family. I also want to watch Madeline and Mathew grow their family and see Mathew continue his hockey coaching career in, and if possible, beyond high school. As I'm sure many others can say, 'I'm not ready to accept the current situation, or that none of these will play out.' Somehow, we must move forward because we have no choice, but after watching the funeral for both these men taken far too soon, I can't help but wonder if we say 'Rest in Peace' because those left behind feel none, but we pray those who are gone have what we cannot. All I know is that opening night will be hard as our hearts will be heavy without #13 on the ice in Nationwide Arena. The thought alone puts a lump in my throat coffee cannot dissolve, and it isn't even October yet. We cannot hide from what has happened, but I feel we will all wish it never had. 

In the time since we lost Johnny Gaudreau, I've also been reminded how amazing the hockey community as a whole is. The rivalry between the Calgary Flames where Johnny played before Columbus and ourselves vanished as both cities mourned the loss of an incredible man on and off the ice. Fan pages dedicated to other NHL Sttars, like the Alex Ovechkin Fanpage on Facebook began posting and reposting videos of Johnny along with tributes to him. You see, it wasn't just the longstanding divide between Johnny's former team and current team that dissolved, but the divide between all teams. No rivalries exist when a player is lost. A community of players, owners, coaches, staff, and fans who are deep down the same: people who love the sport of hockey is all that exists. For how horrific this situation is, the beauty of it is something magical. To all those who wrapped The Calgary Flames and Columbus Blue Jackets with love and support, I personally thank you because we needed it more than I hope you ever know. To those outside of the hockey community, MLB, NFL, NCAA, NBA, and others, thank you as well. The sports community is vast, but it times like this so intimate and small.    

I'm going to wrap this up by posting here a memory I posted a little under two week ago on my Facebook Page. Before that, I will mention that I titled this 'Rest in Peace, Johnny and Mathieew Gaudreau- Part One' because I know there will be a part two. It will likely come after the home opener on October 15th, a game I wouldn't miss for anything now more than ever. I won't write it that night, but it will be done in due time just as this post was. Take care of yourselves, 5th Line. I will leave you with this story and the same plea Madaline Gaudreau gave at the funeral for her husband and brother-in-law; please, do not drink and drive. 

Facebook Memory Posted: September 2, 2024 at 1:55 a.m. 

"I was about to go to bed, and while looking at my phone's lock screen- a photo of Johnny Gaudreau- I thought of a story that hadn't been highlighted. Of course, I still can't fathom his loss or how I'll write an entire blog about him, but I will, and it will include this story from not so long ago. 

I remember when Johnny Gaudreau officially came here. I remember how he had a jersey with the number 13, and thinking to myself, 'Hey, that's Kent Johnson's number.' Back then, I didn't understand the value Johnny brought because I covered only the Blue Columbus Blue Jackets. I also knew with singing Laine and now Gaudreau to large contracts, someone would have to go. Oliver Bjorkstrand was quickly sent to Seattle not long after. He's found great success there, and Johnny taught me to expand my hockey viewing beyond the Blue Jackets for the sake of the Blue Jackets, along with never judging a great player's good intentions. Out of 31 teams he picked us, and I'm so grateful now to have seen him play many times in person. But, back to the story. Johnny Gaudreau was going to wear his lucky 13 here because Kent Johnson had passed along the number he wore his rookie season to him. Why? Johnny Gaudreau was his idol and the entire reason he picked 13 to begin his NHL career here in Columbus. Think of that moment for Kent, you get to pass the number you chose because of your idol back to him and get to share the same jersey with him and learn from him. From what I heard, at first, Johnny didn't even want 13, he wanted Kent to continue wearing it, but Kent insisted and now wears 91. 

I don't know if It'll happen, but I'm reminded of the home opener after we lost Kivi (Matiss Kivlenieks) and how for one night Elvis Merzlikins wasn't wearing 90, but 80, in honor of his Latvian brother. Of course, but by the time October 15th comes around, plans could and should be in the works to retire number 13. That said if at all possible and if he wanted to, nothing would make me sob my eyes out more than to watch Kent Johnson play in that number one last time for his ido, Johnny Gaudreau.   

When I manage to write the blog I never imagined I would in my wildest nightmares, this story will definitely be part of it. A fan mentioned in front of Nationwide Arena Friday night that we never really know our players personally, but it feels like we do. I never knew this man or his family personally, but somehow, it feels like I've lost a friend. My heart breaks for the family, and aside from offering condolences to them, our team, 5th Line, and Calgary Flames, this is the most I've been able to put together in days. This sorrow will never go away, but for how devastating this is, I'm so proud to see the 5th Line come together as they did just over three years ago when we suffered another player's tragic loss. Just like Kivi, Johnny will never be forgotten, the 5th Line, Flames, and NHL will never let that happen."